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October 13 2014

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July 30 2014

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November 17 2013



Personally, I try to approach it like I’m stranded in a desert and I find an ice cream cone, at first I’m a little cautious and usually just lightly skim across the ice cream because I don’t trust it, might be sand, I don’t know, repeat for a while, I then go for the big lick because I realise it is in fact ice cream, it starts to melt, I’m in a desert remember, stick with the story, gotta lick the sides and all around it, don’t wanna lose any, there’s a little on my hands, better lick that too then get my fingers near the bottom for a good grip, at this point I’ve already licked up all the ice cream on the top, but I know there’s more deeper, but the damn cone’s in the way, so I’ve gotta nibble at the sides, sorta biting a little because it’s so damp and soft at this point, so I don’t have to bite hard, sometimes I do though, depending on the cone really.
I’ve now realised the ice cream’s getting everywhere so fuck, this might be the last ice cream cone I get for a while, basically just go absolutely nuts, if you don’t get every last corner of the ice cream, you might die, this all survival kids, remember.
The ice cream cone is expended and the remains of the waffle cone are damp and exhausted, but you did it, you successfully satisfied your hunger for ice cream.

Reblogging for above comment.

(Source: nightoesphere)

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November 14 2013

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August 01 2013

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Porn Sex vs Real Sex: The Differences Explained With Food
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February 10 2013

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October 22 2012

September 29 2012

September 11 2012

Porn Makes You A Lousy Lover

When you’re exposed to something over long periods of time, it can color how you think. It can desensitize you. Change your ideas about what’s normal, accepted or even expected. And then, when you interact with the majority of the population that doesn’t have those same expectations, somebody is gonna end up disappointed and upset.

And odds are, it’s gonna be you.

There’re a lot of guys who have let porn guide their expectations for sex. They think sex is supposed to be like porn sex. And the problem is, porn sex isn’t real sex. In fact, most of the time, porn sex is completely incompatible with real sex. It’s not even acting; it’s kabuki, a performance so stylized and marked by exaggeration and ritual that it can’t be replicated in the real world. The part that people don’t understand about how sex in porn differs from real life are the parts that, ironically, directors work the hardest to ensure are invisible: the camera and the editing.

To start with: almost all porn these days is based around the presence of the camera. Regular, old fashioned vanilla sex by regular folks is actually kinda boring on film; it’s two bodies smushed together with hips grinding on one another. You can’t see anything interesting; no nipples, no real view of penetration… nothing but watching people slap up against each other in the same position for 10 minutes or so, really.

In order to be visually interesting, porn sex has to be “open” to the camera; the actors have to angle themselves in such a way that the majority of their bodies is pointing towards the cameraman – and thus, to the viewer. This is part of the reason for all of the odder positions with legs twisting and torsos bending in opposite directions; they’re making sure that even in the height of passion, the audience can still see the goods. This makes for great film, but in the real world, it’s actually pretty goddamn uncomfortable; these are poses that are designed to look good rather than allow for satisfying friction and genital contact.

The cum-shot, by the way, is also a product of the camera; audiences wanted proof that the guy was actually ejaculating instead of just faking it with a couple of thrusts, a grunt and a shudder. Hence: the money shot – spraying ones load over his partner’s face, boobs, ass, what-have-you. Looks good on film with an added bonus of a certain level of fetishization of the “power” and potency of a man’s semen. In the real world, 99.999% of women are not going to be cool with a guy who wants to blow his load on her face, and the ones who are would really like to plan it out in advance than let it come as a surprise.

Porn sex is sex by the numbers. It almost always plays out the same way: play with the nipples, blowjob, cunnilingus, then straight to slamming away in Vaginatown. Total time spent before penetration: 3-5 minutes.

Real sex on the other hand is a fairly drawn out affair when it’s done right; you have foreplay, mutual oral sex, perhaps stopping to grab some lube, applying the condom, a little more foreplay, having to be guided in… all of which makes for great sex but lousy film.

Porn sex doesn’t allow for things that would occur in real life. Porn sex’s version of foreplay isn’t sufficient for real arousal and lubrication on the woman’s part – yet you will also never see someone reaching for the KY either. Guys who’ve watched too much porn usually don’t understand that you can’t just play with a woman’s boobs, go down on her for a few seconds and then just start pounding away… not if you expect to have her enjoy it anyway. But that’s how they’ve seen it in film, over and over again.

When it comes to advanced stuff like anal sex it’s even worse. Anal sex in porn is practically the same as vaginal sex: insert yourself and just start plugging away. In the real world, that’s a wonderful way to hurt someone. Real world anal sex takes time and preparation. You need to go slowly. Incredibly slowly. Trying to treat it like they do in movies is an invitation to tearing the lining of the rectum. But, again: the real world makes for lousy film.

Then there’s the editing. In porn, once they get to penetration, guys seem to be able to last forever as they bend their lover into pretzels, plunging in at full speed for twenty minutes non-stop. Guys raised on a steady diet of porn start to think that this is how women like sex: being pounded by a piston for a half hour. What they don’t see – assuming the editor has done his job right – are the cuts. It’s rare that any penetration scene is done in one take – guys lose their erection, they cum too early, their partner gets tired or sore. If the editor is good, you’ll never see the transition between takes; instead, you’ll watch what appears to be a seamless whole from penetration to money-shot.

You also never see the real-world issues. In porn sex, nobody varies the speed or intensity of their thrusting. In porn sex, you never have to slow down because trying to keep pumping at full speed is actually more of a core workout than you were expecting. The women never need to stop because they’re starting to go dry and the friction from his cock is actually starting to hurt. Muscles don’t suddenly cramp up. His arms never get tired from holding himself up over her. Her thighs don’t start to burn with the effort of pushing herself up and down when she’s riding him.

You never have those human moments in porn. And if you’ve built your expectations for sex around what you see in porn… well, when reality hits, you aren’t going to be ready for it.

Porn makes for great fantasy sex. But those fantasies just can’t apply to the real world. As much fun and as arousing as porn can be, it’s never going to make you a better lover. The best thing you can do is appreciate it for what it is but leave the porn fucking on the screen, where it belongs.

Porn And The Real World | Paging Dr. NerdLove - Page 2
Reposted frommynnia mynnia viacoloredgrayscale coloredgrayscale

September 05 2012

WOMEN: You are beautiful, every single one of you! This kind of self-mutilation makes sensitive men like me just sad.
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